Jaded II

miserably..
longing for affection,
wishing for the touch,
the kiss ,
the embrace,
like way things are.
missing so much.
longing for the company
as much as it is longed for.
rare it is allowed,
I, to enjoy a moment,
for it seems,
it is much preferred,
to be spent with others,
of which for the life of me,
will never understand...
theres so much love,
no freedom to express..
concern,
understanding,
and sacrifices,
all which,
willingly given..
unnoticed, taken,
is it ever enough?
and until it all ends,
aye,with patience,
the end surely
will come.
looking back,
it would be,
easy,guilt-free
and burdens,
will be Light..

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along..

Young Life

As I grow old, my realization about life becomes deeper,problems get bigger,situations becomes more complicated and i know that you are just like me...
Sometimes we wish we could go back..back to the time when the only man in our life was our dad..our only confidant was our mom,and any pain could be healed by just a band-aid and a bar of chocolate...

I'm the NEW GF (oki)

(L-R) Jojo ,Me ,Wella , Ces Quesada(har, sorry can't help it!) Taps , Budjette , Andre , Dang.

Just survey:

Breakfast food :
>coffee and pancakes

Favorite cartoon character:
>Eduardo in Fosters home for imaginary friends

Given anyone a bath:
>in an innocent and naughty way,i'd say..yes!hahaha

Smoked:
>i did in college

Made yourself throw-up:
>yes to relieve a friggin' headache

Loved someone so much it made you cry?:
>hmmm

Broken a bone?:
>nah

Played truth or dare:
>yes

Been in a physical fight:
>ahahaha many punching and kicking with my sis when we were growing up

Wait for someone's phone call all night:
>during those young in-lovey dovey days

Saved AIM/Yahoo conversations:
>yes

Saved e-mails:
>yep

Fallen for one of your best friends:
>not my style

Made out with JUST a friend?:
>secret hehehe

Used someone:
>no way!

Whats your good luck charm?
>a hundred peso bill that I refuse to spend whatever situation im into

Best song you ever heard:
>yellow by coldplay

What's your bedroom like:
>white paint blue curtains

Last thing you said:
>quiet!

What is beside you:
>err wall

Last thing you ate:
>fruit-tella cream yummy

What kind of shampoo do you use?:
>pantene glossy shine

Best thing that has happened to you this year:
>secret =)

Worst thing that has happened to you this year:
>was denied a visa for travel in japan last April wah!

Who was the last person that called you:
> gina

Who was the last person you slow danced with:
>a cousin i think

What makes you laugh the most?:
>Mr. Enrique A. Tutaan's antics

What makes you smile?
>crazy text messages,silly jokes and situations

Last Person..
You yelled at:
>guian!

Who broke your heart:
>they know who they are

Told you that they love you:
>my kids

Do you wear contacts or glasses:
>glasses

Do you like yourself:
>i don't like myself.I "LOVE" myself

What are you listening to right now?
>evanescence - my immortal

What did you do yesterday:
>work til 8am,got drunk til 1pm,slept til 5pm then went to a birthday party at 9pm.whew!

Have you hated someone in your family:
>yeah use to hate all of 'em

Got any awards:
>most cooperative in 6th grade lol

If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change?:
>I won't change anything about me,I want to change the people around me though.

The Original WATCHGUARD team

I cant believe that theres only about eight of us left in this team now; Gina ,Tony ,Arth Joel ,Janis ,Alvin ,Benz and ME.I miss all the guys who is not with the team anymore!

Random survey:

1. How tall are you barefoot?
> tall enough hahahaha!
2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
>nah
3. Do you own a gun?
> nope
4. Rehab?
> if there’s a rehab for chocolate addiction then I’ll be in and out of it.
5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?
>who doesn’t?
6. What do you think of your friends?
>their weirdness varies but I love them all!
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
> The Chipmunks Christmas song
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
> coffee
9. Do you do push-ups?
> nay
10. Have you ever done ecstacy?
> nah 11. Are you vegetarian?
> I tried but it’s friggin’ hard !wah
12. Do you like painkillers?
>nope
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
>I’m a snob and it puzzles me when they get attracted to that
14. Do you own a knife?
>Used to have a “balisong”
15. Do you have A.D.D.?
>hahahaha!!
16. Date of Birth?
>February 17
17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
>moving on
>alcohol
>work stuff
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought?
>shoe laces
>groceries
>slippers
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink:
>C2 green tea
>brewed coffee
>coke light
>red iced tea
>SanMig light
20. What time did you wake up today?
> I did not sleep last night
21. Current hair?
>almost shoulder length
22. Current worry?
>that I wont be able to move on
23. Current hate?
>my PMS
24. Favorite place to be?
>Metrowalk
25. Least favorite place to be?
>the office hehehe
26. Where would you like to go?
>anywhere with my friends
27. Do you own slippers?
>of course
28. What do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
>crazy and alcoholic hahahaha!
29. Do you burn or tan?
>tan
30. Last thing you ate?
>milk crackers
31. Would you be a pirate?
>aye
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
>just last night
33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
>whatever comes to mind
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
>Grim Reaper
36. Last thing that made you laugh?
>a text message from Mavic, it’s obscene!
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
>err sesame street I think
38. Worst injury you've ever had?
>nothing worst just minor sprains due to taebo
40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
>now only one
41. Who is your loudest friend?
>Irma, haven’t seen her for a long time though
42. Who is your most silent friend?
>Lisa
43. Does someone have a crush on you?
>I think so hehehe
44. Do you wish on stars?
>yup
45. What is your favorite book?
>there’s just too many
46. What is your favorite candy?
>Lipps and Lush
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
>nothing
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
>nothing
49. What were you doing 12AM last night?
>can’t remember
50. Do you need someone right now? >for what??

ANGER MANAGEMENT

this quote is so me:

"Beware of him that is slow to anger; for when it is long coming, it is the stronger when it comes, and the longer kept. Abused patience turns to fury."

--Francis Quarles

and this one is so much like someone I know:

"Doomed are the hotheads! Unhappy are they who lose their cool and are too proud to say, I'm sorry."

--Robert H. Schuller

WeBe!

I will AGAIN be joining Citibank US, surprise surprise!
Not really. I made a request to be transferred to that nosebleed account again because I miss the stress , the hovering overweight boss of ours and my wailing sessions if I become too frustrated and dissatisfied with my work .this time around though I will be working with different team members, which is good (I think). Aina is still our QA goddess and I’m happy about that because I missed her while I’m with HBaC (HSBC).my short work stint at HBaC spoilt me, it made me too relax and too comfy, there you are not pressured to keep up with everybody about anything you just DO your job and that’s it.
Heaven isn’t it? I’m going to leave heaven to go to The Kitchen (Limbo)
Why you may ask? because I hate the attitude of one of my bosses there in heaven (he’s an ass) and the whole team will relocate their asses somewhere else (basta dun where I do not want to be lol)Now,I welcome my bitchy,ranting ass back to Citibank , cheers!

Your Hotness!!!

"Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless; peacocks and lilies, for example."
--John Ruskin.

If you ask me,I have no problem if Adam Brody is useless.I'll take him anytime and I wont be bothered with anything at all!Whew!hot,hot,hot!

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS :

“Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean....
Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.”
conversation with the bebe :

Me : bebe antamad ko magsulat para sa blog hehehe
Me : di gumagana utak me ilang araw na
the Bebe : hmp.. puro alcohol kasi

Sorry cant help it!Bff's keep asking me out for drinking sprees,
that is the downside of working just in front of Metrowalk complex c",)

Stupidly in Love Missy

Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...

--Rose Walker

And to my baby on our linen anniversary:
--Where there is love there is life,
I've said before and I'll say it again , me
looking forward to growing old with you! c",)

EX TALK : -(courtesy of vK)

Longest relationship:
> 10 years
Shortest relationship:
> 1 month
How many people have you broken up with?
> 3? cant really remember
How many times have you truly been in love?
> 3?lol memory gap (what’s with all the 3’s?)
How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you
that
they love you?
> all of ‘em
Have you ever thought that you were going to
marry the person you were with?
> we always thought it would end that way right?
Have you ever loved someone so much that it
hurt?
> ouch!
Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?:
> I think yes..
Have you ever cried over a boyfriend or
girlfriend?:
> wah! the pain , the agony…
Are you happy being single or in relationships?:
> single by faith I can live with it , having someone who cares isn’t bad at all..
Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend
or girlfriend?
> no , I’m too loyal.
Have you ever been cheated on?
> yes
What is the most important PART of being in a
relationship?’
> the sharing , the loving…
What is the worst part of being in a relationship?
> lies, if there’s any
Worst relationship?
> the last last one
Have you ever had your heart broken?
> yes , into million pieces
Do you talk to any of your exes?
> used to , not anymore
If you could go back in time and change things to
where you could still be with one of your exes,
would you?:
> nope ,that I do not wish to do.
Do you think any of your exes feel the same way?
> I know they want me back (all of 'em!)
What is your ideal boyfriend or girlfriend?
> there is no such thing
Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or
girlfriend?
> I was and still is
Have you dated people who were not good to
you?:
> err no
Have you been in an abusive relationship?:
> not really abusive but it was painful
Name your most memorable ex if you have had 1:
> all of them remains in my memory
Have you dated someone older than you?:
> err ata , cant really remember
What are two things that all of your exes had in common:
> tall , tall
When is the last time that you were in a serious
relationship?
> I’m in a serious relationship right now
Do you believe everyone deserves a second
chance?
> well , depends.
Believe in love at first sight?
> I really don’t know
Ever dated two people at once?:
> well I had a lunch date and a dinner date same day with 2 different guys
Do you want to get married?:
> y not?
Do you have something to say to any of your
exes?
> you cant have me back , hah!
Ever stolen someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend?
> that is just so not me
Do you believe in true love?
> I guess so
Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
> one word : Damnation!

WEDDING Invite

I made this invite, for Rollie and Loren’s summer christian wedding (peach and silver motif) but did not get their approval , and I thought this one is cute. hah! It’s ok , I’ll look for more “ raket “ somewhere else. c",)

Friends

This morning I saw the people that used to work with in Citibank US at the lobby of Union bank plaza, I was happy and sad to see them. Happy because I missed most of them and sad because I keep missing them and we won’t be working together anymore…most of them are not with Citibank anymore just like me. I have made lots of friends there (almost everybody actually) but then there are some people that became “close friends” to me. Here are the friends that I miss so much:
Gina – hi gurl! my first buddy up and my buddy all the way! The “bangko sentral ng WG” and Tony and I hate her for being too nice. But we love her anyway!
Tony- We started as good friends (kasama sa pagtakas pag may lakad nyhahaha!) Then we had a “tampuhan” over something and after talking about it we we can say we that made it through the rain, hahaha!
Paul p. -the “monster” as we call him (not because he looks like a monster! hi Paul!) But because he is really good on what he does. Too bad he already resigned from the company and so I will just forever miss him.
Angelo –Only one thing about this ex-rock band vocalist Hahaha!. If you want a drinking buddy Angelo is always free (ngarag na kung ngarag!)

I really miss you guys!!!

California Pizza Kitchen

Sunday ,Finally, after two weeks of talking about going, my bebe and I ventured Tomas Morato in Q.C. in search of a California Pizza Kitchen branch ,we have 1k worth of GC’s from his mom that is near expiring (because we are too lazy to go and use it).And after driving around the area for about 15 minutes we finally found CPK in an “extremely hard to find a parking area zone” .I haven’t dined in this resto before so I’m in observing mode .Got irked because the table that we occupied is dirty !apparently they forgot to wipe the table after clearing it .So for that I give them five for cleanliness in a rate of one to ten (ten tops).the food attendants have hearing impairment , that was said because I’m not really sure if they clearly understand what we are saying or asking specially the poker faced waiter whom we asked for our take-out (even the bill took so long ) .Next the food, the items on their menu is like that of The Old Spaghetti house, only its much more expensive and not as good .we ordered raspberry flavored iced tea ,Sola raspberry is yummier in our opinion, fettuccini with chicken in cream sauce for me, seafood marinara (Dulcinea version is much better) for the bebe. Fettuccini is just ok but the marinara failed miserably, the Bbq pizza that we ordered for take out for his mom, in fairness was good according to Jojo .we don’t have plans of coming back to CPK anymore, anyway we just tried it out because of the GC’s and to make ourselves happy we had a coffee and dessert at McDonald’s, the bebe had mc chicken fillet as well c”,)

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

01. have you ever been in love:
many times already
02. do you believe in love:
at times yes at times
no. go figure.
03. why did your last relationship fail:
Third party on his side ..
04. have you ever been heartbroken:
yes before and yes again just recently .
05. have you ever broken someone's heart:
yes, about 4x
06. have you ever fallen for your best friend:
nope , I’m not the type who would cross that line
07. have you ever loved someone but never told
them:
crush lang , too shy you know..
08. are you afraid of commitment:
nope , im into it..
09. have you ever had a secret admirer:
Yes
10. do you believe in love at first sight:
Don’t know,
ill wait for it to hit me then I’d tell you.

Jaded

There's a time and place for everything
There's a reason why certain people meet
There's a destination for everyone
What's the explanation when were done.

All the summer nights spent wondering
So many questions asked
But no one's answering
Would it be okay if I left today
Took my chances on what you said was wrong.

I'm jaded, stupid and reckless not sorry
When I'll never regret these years spent
So faded and reckless not sorry
And I'll never regret these years
I'll never regret these years.

Now here I sit so far away
Remembering all our memories
Well it's times like these when I miss you most
Remembering when we were so close.

I'll never forget the places we've been you and I
Our lives are slipping away, don't want to let time pass us by
By.

Loving Eduardo

He's the purple guy that i'm loving right now =)...

TENS

TEN THINGS THIS OR THAT
01. Love or money: love then MONEY has to follow
immediately (Hah!)
02. Hard liquor or beer: nothing, I don’t take
alcoholic drinks
04. One night stands or relationships: definitely
relationship
05. Television or internet: INTERNET! Don’t argue
06. Pepsi or coke: coke and it has to be light
07. Wild night out or romantic night in:
whatever
08. colored or black and white pictures: prefer both..
09. Phone or in person: definitely in person
10. Friendster or myspace: ain't it obvious yet?


TEN HAVE YOU EVERS
01. Have you ever been caught sneaking out:
hahahaha YES.
02. Have you ever skinny dipped: no
03. Have you ever done something you regret: many
but I have lived to accept it and think of it as a
lesson...as if I have a choice
04. Have you ever bungee jumped: nah, wanted to try
it though
05. Have you ever been on a house boat: yup, t’was fun
06. Have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker:
Nah... haven't tried it actually
07. Have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt:
yup
10. Have you ever been caught by your parents
doing it? Nah, not my style to do it where/when
there is danger of being discovered

TEN EMOTIONS
01. Are you missing someone right now: I always do
miss someone
02. Are you happy: Nope
03. are you talking to anyone right now: nope , im
home alone..
04. Are you bored: a bit. Yes
05. Are you German: nope, although if being a
German would mean I’d get Heidi klums look them I
WAN'T TO BE A GERMAN (Wishful thinking ...)
06. are you Irish: nah,hev an Irish temper though..
07. Are you French: I wish!
08. Are you Italian: hope I can cook like an Italian
09. Are your parents still married: yes and
no, don’t ask
10. Do you like someone right now: well , yes
idvcs

Expectation

Expecting the world to treat you fairly
because you are a good person
is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you
because you are a vegetarian.

Moshi Moshi

I have rested the idea of leaving for Japan (Kanagawa-ken) about 3 months ago, not looking forward to go on with the trip that would require me to stay there for at least six months so I can work and save enough moolah. I was kinda content and settled here (with a job and my loved ones) that I do not want to go anymore even if I really have to. but then , some situation have changed my feelings about this supposed trip that we expect to (at least) happen on summer ’07 , now I really wanted to go and try my luck there. not just for me to earn enough , save enough dough for a business that I wanted to put up , but also to have new things to do in life .suddenly there’s this desire to explore places , meet new people ,buy THINGS that I really wanted but really not aimed or set goals to have .maybe accomplishing new things whether in form of experience ,material stuff , or new friends would bring a new kind of joy to me.

Invisible Man

She felt so lonely, so crazily lonely
Her need for conversations
But only when she’s lonely, for her man
She sees faces manly faces
Only when she goes places, in her dreams
Her man takes her for granted
Every lonely little day
She has her hot fevers
But only when she is lonely
That is why, when she cry
Those hot flames of love just die
Leaving her lonely, ever so lonely
No one knows how lonely, love can be
Yes shes' the victim of invisible Man

--Allan james saywell

South Park Me!

no decent sleep,gaining weight and having pimples from eating peanut butter,how more fugly can I get? one good thing though ; i'm having fun with the account that im working on right now,Hi ye' all friendly people from HBaC!Hi coachie Benj!(wave)I promise to come to work more often hahaha!he keeps glaring at me when discussing team attendance.
Can't blame the guy, he reviewed our score cards and we are all "pasaway" according to him.but I have promised I'll behave working at HBaC.PROMISE!

Lipat Bahay

i'm reposting my old posts here from my friendster blogs co'z im permanently relocating my ass here , just fyi...

TomatokickED

After the Komikon rendezvous we had dinner at a small resto in annoyingly noisy street somewhere in UP Vill. called Tomatokick with Budjette and Wella (whom I’ve met for the first time).The food is “Ok” with minor flaws like my beef mushroom whatever has a weird taste in its mushroom , and the Gambas (a.k.a. Toxic shrimp) that Budj ordered has a weird smell on its shrimp (not fresh).I can't say its all that bad because Jojo and Budj got lucky with their chicken fillet with cream sauce and T-bone steak. The meal ended with Barako coffee and ice cream (they tried all the flavors listed on the menu) .diet anyone?

KOMIKON II

Saturday, we went to Komikon II at UP Bahay ng Alumni to see Budjette and nose around. The place is swarming with Geeks, well what else do you expect? Was able to meet “SpiderDan”(a spidey wearing costume guy whom Jojo secretly butt-grabbed as he passed behind him and too bad for me for SpiderDan thought it was I who did it! hah!) Hahaha! Also seen are those weirdo’s, Lego clad guys who will pose for pictures with you if you ask them nicely and there’s also this guy who plays harmonica while rounding the place, weirdo! and even weirder is that a group of geeks is perplexedly staring at my Lucha Libre shirt , don’t know if they find it interesting or what. Carlo Vergara writer/illustrator of ZsaZsa Zaturna was there too.Booted four books ,Stainless Longganisa by Bob Ong and three books by David Hontiveros : Craving ,Parman and Takod.Too bad we were not able to get a copy of TRESE by Budjette Tan and Kadyo Baldisimo because it was sold out already.All in all It was an interesting/amusing event and I’m looking forward to Komikon III next year c",)